Why? Why are we alive? Why do we get up in the morning? Why do read, write, do? Why do we do things the way we do things? Why do we feel the way we feel? God, why on earth am I here and where am I going?
Why is it a powerful tool that everyone has access to. It doesn’t cost you a monetary value and is taught at a very young age. If you have met inquisitive young children, them asking you why can be annoying when you don’t have all the answers. But the more we get into life, the more we grow up, the harder it is to process why. It feels like why, in a sense, processing why is only for the time-rich or those who highly value their time.
Sometimes, it is only when I stop or am writing that I can think about why. I partly blame myself, in a sense. I have some comfort in hurrying. I feel like I can get more done in less time - trying to adhere to Parkinson's Law. I find the additional stress by having that five more minutes in bed (which helps no one)or doing it tomorrow ( which is the biggest assumption anyway). In times of hurrying, I am very unadaptable. I can become flustered and sometimes narcissistic and egotistical. I can’t think past the one dimension, first wall or frame of thought. I don’t have the time to process. “I need this and that, and I don’t have time to do anything else" (right now)”. It is a sad reality for me to realise, but I planned for what I expected would happen and didn’t account for the uncertainties. I focused a lot on my knowledge and when all else fails, “it is what it is” to go on with life. The reason why I became so comfortable with leaving things at the last minute was actually similar to the reason why I didn’t take the luxury of processing why. I got too comfortable with my knowing.
In life, there are many things I know or can have access to knowing. And it is likely to be the same for you, too. I knew (mostly) where my stuff was or where it was packed (assuming no one else had taken it ). I knew roughly when I would wake up (assuming I set the alarm) and what the weather was like in advance due to weather apps, although it wasn’t always correct. I knew how long the walk to the station was, what time to get to the train station, what time the train was, what the platform number was, etc. I knew what I was having for lunch or when I planned to have it. I knew that I was mad at someone yesterday or really happy to see another person or even the likelihood of coming home and there being food. As long as everything was ceteris paribus, to some extent, I knew or at least assumed what would happen next. So if I knew, why process why?..
The key to any successful business is their why.
The key to life is why. Why do you want to do something or not want to do something? What is your purpose, your story, and what do you stand for? Why
The key to a relationship is … communication - but you should talk about the what, hows, and whys.
But even to ourselves, processing why is so important:“ We are so comfortable in knowing that we forget how uncertain life is ….”
In sixth form, we had to learn the Theory of Knowledge (TOK), which was questioning how we knew what we knew. And TOk led to very interesting decisions, including demonstrating how powerful our minds really are. As an ex-overthinker, I could play/plan 10s of scenarios of how things would play out in social settings, events or conversations! In my head, I tried planning every possible outcome before and was only ever looking for the somewhat positive possibilities, often the safer options. This was me, conditioning and controlling my knowing and limiting the risk appetite. Knowing what would happen next is just like you could predict what would happen next in your favourite sitcom. You've seen it before, or you've seen it somewhere else, and you expect it next. You protect yourself by limiting yourself to known options. You think you will always know, always have the answer, and always have a perspective of the multiverse to avoid. You live life thinking you will always know, and you never take the time to question it. Already, you have stopped processing why because you are thinking about the next thing to do, the next priority, the next to-do list,
“We get so comfortable knowing that we forget how uncertain life is. We end up living life thinking we are always going to know. And therefore, we take knowing for granted because life is always uncertain.”
Trevor Noah
We as people are amazing at dreaming, having goals, visions, planning, etc. But we can’t plan for the worst, and we can’t plan for the best. God really does the unthinkable because God is the only one who sees all. The omnipotent God. There is a reason why“Only God Knows”. Because in this life full of uncertainty, that is the only certainty that exists,
Just to be clear, my message is not to plan and not to dream - far from it. But there is still a lot that you think you know, plan and do without considering the possible uncertainties ahead. And this is often where just a good plan goes wrong. And if your default answer is “I have to!”, why is your answer I have to? Why do you feel like it is this way? Take the luxury to process why while you still can.
Shine Bright
Stephen
P.S This piece was inspired by Trevor Noah’s comedy special, I wish you would