Staring at the blank canvas can be tricky sometimes - especially when it is meant to be your job to do something about it. I never truly know what to do with mine. Sometimes, I want to keep it as simple as possible. Most of the time, I like some versatility. Sometimes, I think of leaving a shade of black and white…or maybe blue or dare I mix a neutral tone. But maybe then I want to complicate it with absurdity, expression, passion, excitement, colour … no, no, no - I definitely prefer the canvas blank…
"What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of creativity?". My initial thought was of a blob of pink and red on a blank canvas framed on a wall. I am unsure how much influence (or recency bias) had on this image, but it is interesting that, in my mind, creativity was a painting portrayed but unfinished. Still, having a vivid image associated with creativity rather than what typically goes on in my head with numbers, stings, characters, and chair conformers was refreshing. My mind is not completely dead on the idea of creativity - which is important because I still need it.
I started with the following:
Here lies my creativity…
Reflecting now, this sounds like a death sentence! Imagine this as my original start to “creativity”- an execution letter for the death of my own. As someone who has joked about viewing myself as only a left-brain-sided person in the past and, therefore, stuck to the notion of STEM, I would describe my creativity, or lack thereof, as the suppression of my adventurous self. I always expected some answer, some causation or correlation. A problem to be solved. So why is creativity - whatever you want? Why did it require so much imagination, freedom to do whatever, so much …
Space? This is a battle that I have thought about over the years. During GCSE and Sixth Form, I let many things that I would describe as creative outlets and passion suffocate under pressure for academic achievement, which was multiplied by comparison to people I felt had flair or talent. An earlier example is that in art class, I would always paint to mimic what our teacher wanted so I could pass the class. So you can tell I struggled to get a good grade in art when I was told to paint expressively. I wasn’t an artist; I could barely draw and was just stuck between the lines. To me, painting was an intense affair, mainly because I had to fight with that class with every fibre in my muscle to get something done when I had nothing - completely nothing. Many things that I saw as creative and fun at some point early on lost their creativity or fun, either because the environment demanded a particular result or because I could not muster anything worth the same merit that an academic or financial pursuit could achieve. If not my deepest scar, this was at least my lowest regarding creative confidence. It affected my ability to think or dream big. I could not work with a boundless space or make a house a home. I think I was so conditioned to work with limits that being limitless was the most crippling. Maybe being creative was not for people like me. And I thought I was perfectly fine with that.
The thing is, creativity knows no bounds. It also wears a thick skin. Creativity can be judged through very different lenses, and it comes from different backgrounds, experiences, and views on life. But you must pursue it even when the world is against it. I think that is what makes creativity so liberating. Creativity is the gear for change, the compass for wonder and the lampstand for light. Something opposite of a conformer.
Going into University, I thought I would ultimately be done with the arts since I didn't have easy access to it. I didn't view my subject as "creative ".After all, I didn’t need to be creative and thought art had little monetary security. But, creativity knows no bounds, and I am not sure this was a true reflection. I greatly enjoyed other people (mostly my friends) performing and creating (attending poet events, concerts, galleries, photoshoots, etc.) On the contrary to what I thought, I was extremely exposed to creativity and art. I also think it is subconsciously why I was happy to take on roles that would help performers and support people’s passions, but I would never be a performer myself. In pursuit of excellence, I cut off my wings and attempted to climb trees to watch others try to fly. And I guess I didn't even do a bad job of it. It is hard to know what has been just me vs. what I have allowed my environment to be in its reflection. Thinking big has never been my drive for a little while now (little being over a third of my life). But if you tell me what you want, I could tell you the things you may not have considered in your journey. Who knew I would later have to name and face them: overthinking, pessimism and analysis paralysis.
Suppressing my creativity limited my idea of creativity to a dimension view that exists only in the hand of the artist rather than to a multi-dimensional view of creativity seen from the execution of production, performers, and asks to the art of negotiation, coding, conversation and story, linguistics, photography, framing, etc. Framing is even more important now because I still view things differently from my friends. To this day, I am still learning about things that I do or don't and are not considered normal.
When we limit creativity, we limit ourselves and our ability to think and behave differently, which makes us more like Robots and doers than human beings. I still don't have the creative confidence to draw or paint like in art GCSEs, nor do I find joy in it at the moment. But, I am more inclined to dance, sing, act, write, plan, dress, execute and dream. These days, I try to spend more time writing and allowing more time to express myself freely. I am nowhere near the creative potential of the former me who clipped their wing for the grades, but I am more focused on protecting and exploring untold stories. Why - because no one is normal. To find my uniqueness, I need to think outside the box, and I need to get creative.
To me, two big things are in demand: people who win work and tell stories. Whether you are looking at the creative industry specifically or more broadly, I don’t think those two things will change anytime soon. Whether you like it or not, you are an author of your own story, your own life. You only get one life, one shot, one moment. So you need to be creative - it your essence.
I would be lying to say I am nervous about what is ahead. But really, I am excited to try new things, fail fast, and make things count when they matter most, no matter how big or small or trivial it may feel. I will continue to explore my creativity as I learn the tools to harness the best of it—the steps of innovation. As I continue to learn to communicate, I will continue to write.
So, readers, I implore you to find your creative spark, do something you never dared to do before and open new doors. Let your light shine in the dark places and, most importantly…
Shine Bright,
Steph